I am back in Malaysia!!! Actually for more than a month already:) hot and sunny Malaysia..the two things that I appreciate most in Malaysia- food and friends!!!

Another 1 year gone!!! what a year..Have not done much for the whole year except for slacking and lazing around!!! No sense of achievement at all!!! All my target failed just for one reason-pure laziness!!! sigh~~Life has been too easy for me that I lost all my drive and motivation. I am not working hard for anything, is just those kind of attitude: well, it doesnt matter, if I get it then I get it, if I dont, then f*** it!!!

Nothing special happen this year in the UK. Basically trapped in Edinburgh, to be precise, my flat most of the time. No Europe trip, no anything other than eat, sleep, eat, sleep!!! Forget about studies, too little time spent on it!!! Cannot be put as daily routine!!!

Then back in Malaysia. First thing- SUKMA!!! sigh~~ This is the only tournament that I don't even want to mention about it!!! Everything changed!!! YES~~EVERYTHING!!! What looking for those feeling that I experienced long time ago..f*** it la!!! I know it will never happen again and I will never again feel like last time!!! This is the first time I don't feel anything after a tournament, not a single sad feeling during seperation!!! I am not sure whether is because my thinking changed or there is actually nothing for me to worth feeling sad about!!! But, I am slightly regret that Sukma ended this way!!! I came back with empty hand, empty heart, empty memory and empty relationship maybe!!! Well, I blame no one but myself for being a handicapped during tournament. Things change huh~ human change huh~ people change huh~relationship change huh~ skills deteriorate yeah!!!! Just a finger snap and everything became different, dont even need arguement to take place for this to happen, nil talk between closest friend used to be!! I dont understand how can this even happened, but I thought I still treasure you guys as usual:) Joining a group that I don't used to click with made me realised that well they are actually not that bad, they are nice people and fun to mingle with also. Anyway, is over!!! Life goes on~~

Academic wise!!! All my results are out!!! Sigh~~ not good as expected!!! well...what more other reasons can I give now for getting this result? I am glad that this is not counted into my degree, or else I am so screwed!!! That's the huge consequence for not studying!!! sigh~~ looking at the results, the one that I once thought will be so fucked came out to be ok!!! How I wish I have put in slightly more effort, just a little bit more, just a little bit, then another apple for me.. Yeah I WISH!!! Those that I expect to be good go the other way round, so fucked!!! I wish I did not expect myself to score well on those subjects, so that I will put in more effort in it!!! Again, I WISH!!!

Awhhh well...what a good year!!! Next~~ internship!!! Please~Dont fail me!!! Though I know I failed myself already!!! sigh~~ I need a good kickoff mannn!!!